It's been a while since I updated this thing. I kind of liked being stuck in time like that. Unfortunately, life doesn't happen that way. We can't pause or rewind or just rip out the film altogether.

It has almost been two months since my mother died. Only two. She was in the hospital for almost three. I watched her die. We took off the machines; she had wholes in her lungs that reminded the doctors of swiss cheese. Swiss Cheese indeed. She was 42 and I turned 20 while she was in the hospital, she had a birthday in the hospital too.

She was in a virtual coma the entire time. I hate 4am phone calls and July 30th. I also hate the intensive care unit. I hate so many things now, but I also love so many other things too.
Like my siblings. and watching design shows.

So that's why I have been absent and only writing and not updating or intersocializingnet. And I know you're all sorry and I thank you for that.

I just got my second feature as a DLD within one week. That's awesome. Here is Ethel [link] and I thank everyone for taking thier time to read and comment or even a favorite. You are all awesome.

I have been doing better as a slam poet here Albuquerque. I know have a youtube video for Bark [link] take a look and enjoy it please. That was a part of my double feature with Rich Boucher. Awesome poet. He did a cover of my poem Lady Godive, which is also on youtube somewhere.

I won first place last month, in a bar, and since I'm not old enough to be in a bar I won illegaly. I've also been winning second and third. I did Billie Holiday's Letter for the first time, it went over time, but was recieved well.

I have to find a new job. My boss said horrible things to me about my mother, and to me, she crossed the line.

I moved closer to my little Sister, so I'm only five minutes away. She is six. This is the second mother she's lost. Tough.

I've learned a few things this summer.
Life matters more than you could know
She isn't gone. She doesn't feel gone.
I will never say goodbye.


Thank you for reading and your condolences. Paz.